Sunday, October 28, 2007

Ship of Fools Mystery Worshiper: 1 out of 10 for the sermon

Ship of Fools is a UK-based Christian website. They have a Mystery Worshiper program, sending folks out to worship in churches mainly in the US and UK.

Mainline Pilgrim visited a church in Indiana that he or she really didn't agree with, socially and theologically.

The building: The church is typical of the new churches in the new suburbs. A grass and asphalt campus surrounds a building that has absolutely no scruples about being plain, unobtrusive and cheap, with a fiberglas steeple stuck on top as an afterthought. The sanctuary is a windowless auditorium decorated with plastic plants. Out in the lobby can be found the Connection Cafe, featuring wi-fi connection points and serving cappuccino, latte and flavored coffee drinks. The cafe is painted a peculiar shade of red that makes the place seem about ten degrees warmer than it actually is.

The church: It's a good deal younger than churches a mainliner such as myself is used to. Their events calendar is full of fellowship dinners, pool parties, picnics, game nights and community barbecues. However, while there are programs designed to attract new members and get everyone acquainted with each other, as well as ministries for children, young adults, brides-to-be, mothers, those seeking spiritual growth, etc., it seemed to me that there was a conspicuous lack of outreaches to the poor, meek, or persecuted.

The neighborhood: Lafayette is a middle-sized blue-collar manufacturing city that sits on the east bank of the Wabash River about 65 miles northwest of Indianapolis. The suburb of West Lafayette lies across the river and is a college town, home to Purdue University. Calvary Baptist straddles the line where expensive, new housing developments collide with cornfields.


Our hero goes on to castigate the church further:

On a scale of 1-10, how good was the preacher?
2 – The pastor leaned on the podium casually the whole time in an apparent effort to seem personable and informal. His sermon was projected via Powerpoint, and he kept jabbing a laser pointer at it. It seemed to me that he had first written the sermon and then then tinkered with a computerized Bible search program to find passages to support his points. The passages came from many different parts of the Bible and weren't even all from the same translation.

In a nutshell, what was the sermon about?
The sermon had the rather gruesome title "How to Stay Clean in a Corrupt Society." How, precisely, society is corrupt was not clarified; therefore the nature of the church’s cleanliness remained a mystery. There were a few clues to the dreadfulness of this corrupt society, though – at one point he mentioned that the church needed a building permit for its new connection center and from this leapt to the conclusion that churches are illegal in some parts of the country! He assured us that no matter how many times we fall in with those corrupt sorts, we should try our best to stay clean because Jesus was perfect. I wondered whether white, suburban churchgoers really lacked influence on society to the degree he claimed. And all the talk about cleanliness reminded me of Acts 11:9: "What God hath cleansed, make not thou common."


And:

How would you feel about making this church your regular (where 10 = ecstatic, 0 = terminal)?
1 – There is absolutely nothing that would draw me back to this church again. The service was unenlightening enough, but the dismal record of service to the poor and needy is a testament in and of itself. Barbecues and pool parties are nice, but the work of the gospel they are not.


Did the service make you feel glad to be a Christian?
I did not experience the gospel at that church as I understand it.


Well, these folks sure won't be passing through the eye of the needle if Mainline Pilgrim is right. Saint Andrew's and Saint Clare's in Ann Arbor, which are both Episcopal, large, and pretty rich, participate in outreach ministries. St A's hosts a breakfast program for all comers, all year round. Both churches participate in the rotating overflow shelter for the homeless. This is what the Gospel is: feed Jesus, clothe Jesus. Looks like some church in Indiana forgot.

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